Digression

I'd like to digress here in this post. I guess its more of a informative piece for anyone who is just finding out their child is autistic or maybe thinking there is something not quite right. Take this all as you will and just because your child does exhibit some of the signs does not make them autistic. With that being said Id also like to say that my son is not biologically mine but he might as well be since I have had him since he was 3. In the prior years up until then he was abused greatly and that may have caused how he is now. The bad thing is that we can't pinpoint anything developmentally and only can go on what we have been apart of in the following years.

It all started when my son was three. He was removed from his "home" by social workers never to return. After we had gotten him he appeared for lack of better words "normal" His speech was a bit behind but we contributed that to lack of parental communication. Little did we know it was not the case. When he got hurt he would run and hide. He never liked anyone touching his neck or was a very hugging kid. Again we attributed this all to abuse because it was the only piece we had. When my son got in trouble and/or really angry, instead of voicing it he would either smack his head with his fists or scratch the heck out of his arms. We now know this was because he could not put words to his feelings and that was the only was he could express himself. Around this time we had just gotten him night time potty trained and he digressed back to wetting every night. Extremely stubborn or so we thought.

Around the ages of 4-6 we would find things destroyed like toys not meant to be apart were pulled or forced apart, the corner of books and  plastic video cases chewed on, to include his index finger and nails, and the thing no one wants to talk about, urine in his room. He would play by himself but there really wasn't any imagination behind it. He was constantly in trouble at the preschool he was enrolled at, IE  not listening, wanting to do his own thing, not connection with peers. This is when we started therapy thinking it all stemmed from his past. I also tried every convectional way to deal with it at home to include some non convectional ways all with the same result, NOTHING. It was like this kid could not be reached.

During Kindergarten he had his own "Cool Down" chair in the coat closet because he would become so agitated that he just couldn't calm down unless removed from the situation and let be for what seemed like a really long time. (this also happened at home but was sent to room) If the subject was approached with him too soon he would melt down all over again. His daycare after school had a difficult time with him as well and eventually I had to stop working to stay at home and care for him and my 8 month old. One Doctor thought he was ADHD and we put our son on ADHD meds... with no positive results.

From ages 6-11 we had one of the worst roller coaster rides with him. He would try to run out of the school and into the parking lot, kicked teachers, threw chairs and flipped desks. (Slow processing could not keep up with class and caused MAJOR frustration he could not voice) He grabbed kids by the collar choking them, push them and was slowly isolating himself from his peers. (Rules not being followed by students therefor he had to fix it and lack of being able to read social cues) Any type of movement, paper rustling or shuffling would anger him and at one point he had his own separate desk away from everyone. (Sensitivity to sounds and stimuli)  His test scores were lower than the classes average (slow processing) all the while still in therapy and was hospitalized a few times because we just didn't know what to do and he was becoming a threat to us as well as himself but most of his issues were at the academic level and just flowed home. By this time we were at the end of our rope and it took him to really freak out in school and the school to do something they should not have (another story at another time) to get him to where he is now.

What was all thought to be the prior abuse or *gulp* bad parenting on our part turned out to be Aspergers Syndrome. Every single behavior was and can be explained by it. Since we now have a better understanding of Autism we can better help our son and try to prepare him for the world he will live in.

Here's a site with some Asperger Symptoms for your information only, it's not the bible nor the holy grail. I didn't list everything that has happened because this post would be miles long so I am also available to answer questions that you as a reader and/or parent might have. Good Luck!

~Ma Autism

Pulling information

My son is involved in chess club one day a week and a member at large for student council which requires another day of the week. He is also in what's called a boys club where he gets to bond with other students who have disabilities but are more excepting.

On Friday he came home from school and sits down to read (one of his usual things when he's not doing homework) and as I sit at the table with him he picks up something and slams it on the table. "Here" he says. So I take a peak inside to find a whole mess of toiletries. I look at him as ask where he got them. Mrs. So in so he says. So now I have to ask a mess load of questions to get to the bottom of it. At one point I think he got confused and took it. Not the case. I'm still not sure but what I think happened was this, During student council all the kids were making holiday bags for low income students and their families. After he completed his he left it there and went home. The school must have had some extra and decided to give them to the kids in the boys group. At least that's what I'm hoping and its not that he's the smelly kid because I take great measures to for him not to be.

Because of his autism simple things such as this are not easily conveyed and what should have only taken maybe 4 minutes turned into 15. Such is our life trying to put all the puzzle pieces together and make sense of it all. He has to do it on a regular basis so its only fair I do it once and a while.

Round and round

A glimpse into my life... I am a mother of three, a 14 year old autistic son and 2 girls ages 10 and 7. We live in a semi rural part of the east coast and love our area. With that being said, this is a blog created for mothers  of Autistic children who have ever just had to shake their heads and walk away. If you have an autistic child then you know what I'm talking about. In the past 11 years I have had several times like that. Some days I want to scream but most days I try to relate and teach him how to live in a non-autistic world because lets face it, our children need so much more support than the "average" child. Our children need extra patience, love, understanding and most of all empathy even though they don't understand it themselves. We as mothers feel that we are constantly trying to fix, excuse and control how our children respond and behave in public and its exhausting. 

My son is now 14 and bless his heart an A-B student in a regular high school and thriving. It has been a long road to get to where he is now but I wouldn't give it up because I am who I am today because of him. My present goal is to give my son scenarios and  hypothetical situations for him to think through, sort of like little puzzles, to help him in the future. While he is 14 on the outside, he's only about 8 on the inside. Meaning that socially and emotionally he is stunted to about half of his numerical age. This makes it hard to judge what is "age Appropriate" and what is not, making life even more confusing for all living it. Can I get an "Amen"? So please join me as I begin to blog about our past and future adventures Living and Loving in an Autistic World.